I don’t know anything,
and that ‘I’ which knows is nothing but an ignorant fool.
I think, when I don’t think,
that I have no end and no beginning.
That which thinks has to take thousands of births.
When there is ‘I’ He is not; when He is, I am not.
--Swamy Ramanagiri
The following is extract from David Godmans blog. This is about a devotee of Sri Bhagawan. Davids blog is very interesting and I strongly recommend devotees to visit his blog frequently as anecdotes of old devotees are presented by him regularly.
Swamy Ramanagiri, His
original name was Per Westin. He belonged to the royal family in his
native Sweden. He came to India to study Sanskrit at Banaras Hindu
University. He met
Bhagavan and did not return to his native place.
Bhagavan gave him a small begging bowl
made by Himself, out of coconut
shell. In the following days, he could not get sufficient
quantity of
food as bhiksha, and complained
to Bhagavan about it. Bhagavan told him that
thereafter he need not go
in search of food as it would come to him. From that time he did
not
have to bother about his food. He then moved to different places and
settled at this
place, which is near a jungle stream. The coconut shell
begging bowl, made by Bhagavan, is
kept safely in a jewel box, along
with other belongings of Sri Ramana Giri.
Swamy Ramanagiri gives an account of his sadhana in a letter to a fellow saadhaka :
In the course of sadhana, maya first
comes to the sincere soul in the form of worldly troubles; second in
the form of desires, and third in the form of dear friends who keep him
away from the quest.
Our own
mind is the greatest cheater in the world. It will make thousands of
different reasons to go its own way. There are three ways of handling
this cheat, who is nothing but a bundle of thoughts creeping into the
conscious mind.
First, to treat him as a friend and give him full
satisfaction. This is a very long and tiresome way because he is never
satisfied.
Second, to treat him as an enemy and with all force
try to get rid of him. This is only possible by the grace of the divine
because the mind has got two very powerful weapons – the discriminating
intellect and the imaginative faculty. These two fellows can convince
even God himself that black is white.
The third way is the way
taught by Sri Ramana in the days of silence at the foot of sacred
Arunachala. This way, which has been adopted by this fool, is to treat
the mind as a patient, or rather several patients who are coming to a
doctor to complain about their various ailments.
Just as a doctor
sits in his room receiving different kinds of patients, this fool
imagines himself sitting in the sacred cave of the Heart and receiving
the different thought-patients. You know that a sick person likes to
babble for hours about his complaint. In the same way a thought likes to
multiply itself, but the doctor always cuts it short, saying, ‘Very
good. Take this medicine. Thank you very much.’ And then he calls for
another patient. This is how this fool decided to meditate.
First
the fool slows down his breath as much as possible, but only to the
point where there is no discomfort. To this fool, two breaths per minute
is the proper speed, but that may not be possible for you because this
fool has practised for a long time. You may be able to decrease your
breathing to 8-10 per minute in the beginning. Don’t get to a level
where you are uncomfortable, because that discomfort will give rise to
thoughts.
This fool decided to receive twenty patients before
closing the dispensary of the Heart. He calls out ‘Number one!’ and he
waits for thought patient number one to come. The thought patient may
say, ‘Smt such-and-such is not well. Sri so-and-so is worried.’
Then this foolish doctor says, ‘Oh, you are number one. Very good. The name of Lord Murugan will cure you. Thank you very much.’
Then he calls for number two, and he waits till the second patient is entering the room. ‘Mr so-and-so may get mukti this life,’ he says.
‘Very good. You are number two. The whole world is benefited if one soul gets liberated. Thank you very much.’
Numbers
three, four, five, and so on are dealt with in the same way. When all
the twenty thought patients have come and gone, the doctor closes the
room to the Heart, and no one else is allowed to come inside. Now he is
alone. Now there is time for atma-vichara.
He asks himself, ‘To whom have all these thoughts come?’
Three times he slowly repeats the same question, along with the outgoing breaths.
Then he, in that same slow manner, answers, ‘To me, to me, to me’.
‘Then who am I? Then who am I? Then who am I?’
All questions and answers are repeated three times, very slowly.
‘This “I” is not a thought. This “I” is not a thought. This “I” is not a thought.’
‘Then who is the receiver of the thought? Then who is the receiver of the thought? Then who is the receiver of the thought?’
‘”I” – “I” – “I”’ Now the mind is centralised in the source itself. ‘
‘Then who am I? Then who am I? Then who am I?’
Now
the breath comes to an end and the attention is concentrated 100% on
the sound caused by the palpitation of the heart, as if the sound would
give the answer to our questions. This is nothing but the pranava itself. If, during this time, the sakti which
was static is converted to movements or becomes dynamic, trance will
occur. If the primal energy reaches the space between the eyebrows, savikalpa samadhi will occur. If the energy rises up to the top of the head, nirvikalpa samadhi will occur, which is nothing but the Self itself.
However,
you should also know that even if the doctor has closed the dispensary
door, some patients may come and peep in through the window to complain
about their ailments. At the beginning of atma-vichara,
the patients at the window are many. In the same way, although the door
to the cave of the Heart is closed, some thoughts may occur at the time
of dhyana.
For example, a thought may come: ‘Mr Iyer’s sushumna nadi has opened up.’
Since the patient has not come at the proper time, the doctor doesn’t attend to him.
Instead, he continues the quest: ‘To whom has the thought of Mr Iyer come?’ ‘To me, to me, to me.’
‘Then who am I? Then who am I? Then who am I?’
Dearest ‘S’. In all humility this fool has babbled something about how he tries to establish himself in the experience of ananda, which is no different from the Self itself.
With all my love to you.
Ramanagiri in Him
Om.
